Sunday 31 May 2015

There Are A Lot Of Things In Life That Are Mediocre, Don't Let Relationships Be One Of Them




They always tell you that your days at school will be the best of your life and everyone just shrugs it off. Then years later, you look back and realise that the best parts of those years were the bits you didn’t even consider at the time. Waking up that day and only thinking of the 24 hours ahead, going to sleep and thinking of the previous 24 hours and that is it.

Now, I have to think days, weeks even months ahead. My friends ask to make plans 6 months from now and I have to ‘let them know’ because everything is just so up in the air. It’s frustrating and increasingly annoying but mainly because I took my teenage years for granted. So much so, that I had no idea how happy I really was. I was so content with the way things were at that very moment, I had no reason to look forward.

When I think about my life right now, all I think about are things that I would change. I’m a worrier, I’m an organiser and I always think ahead - that’s just the person I am. I am an absolute perfectionist and I cannot stand doing the bare minimum for anything – it’s all or nothing, I see no in-between. So it’s natural for me to want to make anything better that I can and that includes all of my relationships.

Like I said, we all look back at our school years and wish we could go back to that simple life. That life where you saw your friends every day and you all would have the best times together. But the truth is – that isn’t real life. As much as I say I would like to go back to that time in my life, I also realise that I was a naïve girl and all was not as it seemed.
Life was simple. Your friends were always there for you, always there to pick you up when you were down and you always spent your free time together. Reality? Far from it.

This was life because there was no other way. You had nothing else to do on weekends but be with your friends, so of course they were your first choice. Now, I have to arrange with my friends weeks in advance just to make sure they have spare time. This isn’t because they are bad friends, it’s because we have so much more going on with our lives, that seeing each other is an effort. It’s not just a filler of time. It’s actually time-consuming.

That sounds really harsh. I love my friends and I love spending time with them. But because I have a busy life now, I constantly assess every minute of my day. If I didn’t spend an extra hour with you I could have replied to some emails… That’s OCD. And that’s something I’m personally trying to work on. But it’s a balance I have to find.

When I look at the way I am towards spending time with my friends now, compared to when I was at school, I realise it’s a now a choice. If I desire to see somebody, I will make the effort to do so. If I don’t… I won’t bother. At school, you would probably spend weekends with people you wouldn’t even say ‘hello’ to now. Isn’t that crazy? But you didn’t care then. Because your time wasn’t precious, or at least you didn’t think of it as being precious.

At least I enjoyed that whilst it lasted because now my time is precious, and boy don’t I know it. When I started to grow apart from friends I was upset, I clung onto them hoping it was just a phase. I clung onto someone who I would now describe as a shitty friend. I was fighting for someone who’s time had become precious, so they became distant. And suddenly now I get it.

Time is precious. Fill your time with people who inspire you, who make you laugh til your gut aches and who truly care about your happiness. Whether it be a boyfriend, girlfriend, bestest friend or a work friend, if you desire to spend time with them, it’s for a reason. Don’t waste your time on people who add little to your life. Time is precious so fill it wisely.


There are a lot of things in life that are mediocre, don’t let relationships be one of them.

Thursday 7 May 2015

Don't Base Your Decisions On The Advice Of Those Who Don't Have To Live With The Results




This week I had a reality check. The kind of reality check that makes you see all the tiny things you've done over the years, in a whole new light. 

Now let me start from the top. If I could describe myself as a friend, I would say I'm the one who voices my opinion quite willingly. If my friends confide in me for advice, I'm a great listener, but I sure as hell won't keep quiet. I will give my opinion and probably suggest what I would do in their situation. 

This is the part where I now cringe. I always thought that is a really good thing that I'm so honest with my friends and to a certain degree, I still do. But now I look and think that maybe I was a little too brutal... Or a little too forceful. In all honesty, a lot of the situations I was advising my friends on, I'd never been through myself. So I'm not surprised they didn't always follow my advice.

But me being me I just gave the advice anyway "if it was me..." Well the truth is: it wasn't me. And I had no idea how they felt at that moment, the only knowledge I had was the information they were offering. I knew nothing behind closed doors and it turns out, that part is a huge influential factor.

I used to laugh at the fact I would dish out my advice to others yet never follow my own, but now I'm ashamed of that. Talk about double standards... Who was I to say the best thing to do when I wouldn't even follow it myself? Truth is. I thought I thought I knew what was right, and who knows it could have been, but how many of us make the decision that in our hearts, we know is best? 

When the tables turn and people try and advise me, I quite often reject it and follow what I think is best. Which I think is quite a good thing... And now I look at my friends and recognise the situations that they've rejected my advice and suddenly, it all becomes clear to me. I'm not bitter, I'm not confused as to why they're ignoring it, I finally get it. It's their life, and the decision made makes little difference to my life. 

I now feel a nice sense of pride. I'm so proud that I'm surrounded by people who are strong enough to make their own decisions. My friends never took my advice and followed it word-for-word and now I'm so pleased that this is the case. They're strong and independent enough to have faith in their choices, and so am I. 

"Don't base your decisions on the advice of those who don't have to live with the results" 

Kirsti x


Monday 4 May 2015

Why The Only People Who Should Aspire To Be Like Bikini Competitors Are Bikini Competitors


If you have Instagram you will have stalked Bikini Competitors. You might not have been searching for them, but when a girl with a toned physique pops up onn your feed you can't help click on it. You've been distracted by the body, but then you see the food and suddenly the body isn't so desirable after all.

You're likely to come across the following; lots of Tupperware, chicken, veg, rice, more veg, gym selfies and muscle pumps. All of which are essential to a Bikini Competitor lifestyle, but are they necessary to yours?

The summer is approaching fast and we are looking for ways to tighten up, so when we come across  a girl who has abs and isn't afraid of posting absolutely everything they eat, it seems like the logical place to turn. They may post the numbers behind what they eat, the exercise regime that they carry out at the gym or something 'unhealthy', which they will quickly label as a 'cheat', making it easy to try to match your life to theirs. If it's worked for them it will work for you, right?

I'd love to say wrong, but in all honesty it probably will work. Providing you follow the same principles, but match the numbers to your individual needs there's a strong chance that you will see results, which is a good thing isn't it?

Don't get me wrong I seriously admire these girls. Not only are they breaking the stereotypes about what a girl is 'supposed to look like', but their dedication is ridiculously impressive. They certainly are a more favourable role model to have with the promotion of 'strong' being a desirable image, and the importance of eating enough to get results, but there's a whole other element to being a Bikini Competitor that isn't suitable for the everyday girl, and here's why...

The most striking aspect that concerns me is the level of pressure. If you have ever competed in a sport you will know that a few weeks before the competition starts you place pressure on yourself, and push yourself as hard as possible, which for the competitors is fine, but what are you pushing yourself for? To look good on the beach? That's fine, but it shouldn't be the same kind of pressure that is placed before a competition and this is where the lines get blurred. A cheat meal to you should not be the same as a cheat meal to a competitor, because what exactly are you cheating?

Adopting this sort of lifestyle is fine for a short period of time, but the competitors themselves are the first to admit that it can not and should not be maintained. A competition has a date, and once it's over the competitors diets change, but what's the end date when you are not a competitor? The trouble is that the lifestyle is addictive, and once you learn exactly what it is that your body needs to maintain a certain standard it can be impossible to stop. You start off thinking that chocolate is a cheat, but before long anything that doesn't consist of chicken and veg starts to become something that is seen as a treat, and as a result something that you are fearful of.

This is when the real problem arises, as it starts to interfere with other parts of your life. A Bikini Competitor is prepping for a competition and won't deny that they are strict on themselves, but it's for a cause. You don't want to go out for dinner, or have someone prepare your meal for you, you fancy chocolate but it doesn't fit with your diet. Without even realising you've become fearful of events that were once so normal, to the point that even going for a meal with your friends can be something you dread. What can you say? You don't have a competition that you are preparing for to use as an excuse, and it's reached the point where you're not even sure why you don't want to eat 'unhealthy' anymore.

Summers over, but your Bikini diets still there. The problem is the dedication that is required to be a Bikini Competitor is not required in everyday life. What started out as just trying to look like the girl you stalked on Instagram, or getting that summer body, or even trying to build some muscle quickly turned to an obsession. An obsession to fulfil a lifestyle that you do not actually lead. You are training for a competition that is never going to come, and if the competition never comes does the training ever end?