Don't Base Your Decisions On The Advice Of Those Who Don't Have To Live With The Results

This week I had a reality check. The kind of reality check that makes you see all the tiny things you've done over the years, in a whole new light. 

Now let me start from the top. If I could describe myself as a friend, I would say I'm the one who voices my opinion quite willingly. If my friends confide in me for advice, I'm a great listener, but I sure as hell won't keep quiet. I will give my opinion and probably suggest what I would do in their situation. 

This is the part where I now cringe. I always thought that is a really good thing that I'm so honest with my friends and to a certain degree, I still do. But now I look and think that maybe I was a little too brutal... Or a little too forceful. In all honesty, a lot of the situations I was advising my friends on, I'd never been through myself. So I'm not surprised they didn't always follow my advice.

But me being me I just gave the advice anyway "if it was me..." Well the truth is: it wasn't me. And I had no idea how they felt at that moment, the only knowledge I had was the information they were offering. I knew nothing behind closed doors and it turns out, that part is a huge influential factor.

I used to laugh at the fact I would dish out my advice to others yet never follow my own, but now I'm ashamed of that. Talk about double standards... Who was I to say the best thing to do when I wouldn't even follow it myself? Truth is. I thought I thought I knew what was right, and who knows it could have been, but how many of us make the decision that in our hearts, we know is best? 

When the tables turn and people try and advise me, I quite often reject it and follow what I think is best. Which I think is quite a good thing... And now I look at my friends and recognise the situations that they've rejected my advice and suddenly, it all becomes clear to me. I'm not bitter, I'm not confused as to why they're ignoring it, I finally get it. It's their life, and the decision made makes little difference to my life. 

I now feel a nice sense of pride. I'm so proud that I'm surrounded by people who are strong enough to make their own decisions. My friends never took my advice and followed it word-for-word and now I'm so pleased that this is the case. They're strong and independent enough to have faith in their choices, and so am I. 

"Don't base your decisions on the advice of those who don't have to live with the results" 

Kirsti x

It's OK To Have Felt Like You Want To Leave Uni

Nowadays it's drummed into us that after college Uni is the next step. College puts pressure on you to apply if you're unsure, and with everyone around you being tempted you find yourself doing it too. Before you know it you've convinced yourself that a) Uni is your only option, and b) it's what you want to do.

Fast forward a year and you've made it. You're a Uni student. You're here so it must be what you want, and you must be happy with your choice, right?

If it only it were that easy! Trust us when we say that whether you are waiting to go to Uni, are in your first, second or final year there will be times when you will ask yourself 'what have I done'?.

If there's one thing all students will agree on it's that Uni really is an emotional roller coaster. You will go through phases so quick that sometimes you aren't even aware of the phase you are in. One day you will love Uni and another day you will completely hate it, and question why you ever thought it was a good idea.... and that's ok.

There are a million reasons why you feel like this, and we can guarantee that you are not alone in feeling it. Maybe you're struggling with your course, whether that's finding it too hard or just wondering if you have chosen the right one (especially if you're first year), or maybe it's the Uni life itself.

The problem is that Uni is like nothing you have ever experienced before. Up until now you've been pretty safe in your comfort zone, and mostly known what to expect. Uni takes that comfort completely away from you, making you feel unsettled, and sometimes all alone.

If you make it through Uni without ever questioning your choice of going then wow, well done you! But for the rest of us, it's completely normal to feel like this. While we have had these thoughts many times, they have always passed and we have managed to fall back in love with Uni again. Having said this, it's ok if you can't. You've made such a huge life change, and the thought of backing out of it can actually be more daunting than seeing it through.

You need to do what makes you happy, and despite what society is telling you, Uni is not for everyone. Don't be afraid to leave if it's not for you, but remember that sometimes you will have doubts, and that's OK.

If it's becoming a constant feeling then maybe it is time to consider your options, discover whether you really want to complete Uni. But for most of us, doubts will come and go, its unlikely that you will feel 100% about your choice to be at university, ever (sorry to break it to you). Remember you're not alone, and many others are/have been through it.

Our advice? Don't make rash decisions. It's OK to have doubts.