How Social Media Has Changed Us

Changed might be the wrong name for this post. Maybe it was there before but we just never noticed it, or maybe social media has brought out a side of us and just exaggerated it. But I’m sure that I don’t remember people being so in-your-face before. I don’t remember this much bragging going on. Is that true? Or was it just easier to ignore then? When it was just coming from someones mouth it was easier to zone it. Now, it’s all over our phones. Every platform we are on, it’s there. You’ve posted the same image over Instagram, Twitter and Facebook just to ensure that every person in your life has seen it.

Now, don’t get me wrong. We’re all guilty of it, we all have given in to it and now document most aspects of our life. Granted, some worse than others but recently it’s really started to get to me. It’s really started to annoy me way more than it did before. I can’t go out for lunch with my friends without one of them putting up a picture of what we ate. When did that become so important? Why does everyone need to know every minute of your day?

Instagram is now a really irritating one for this. It’s now become everybody’s blog – they update their followers like they are a fan base. It’s so superficial and so frustrating that I now search for posts that look at least a little genuine, like that person isn’t just putting that on for show, but actually because they just like that photo and want to share it. There are little numbers of genuine desire to share, and more and more of just showing off.

Holidays just illustrate this. I have never seen so many people post pictures of their Christmas presents, until this year. When did that become so impersonal? It used to be about spending it with your family, thought over price – now what, if your boyfriend didn’t get that Michael Kors watch for you, you won’t have anything to post? It’s crazy. But it’s true. I see it in everyone.

I have friends who have posted a picture of themselves at the gym, taken months ago, and yet repost it today just because they forgot to take a picture of it that day, and couldn’t possibly not document that moment in life.

It’s stupid. How ridiculous does that sound? But then look at yourself. How many times have you gone to post a picture or a tweet but haven’t done it because it’s not “interesting enough”, or you have actually posted something just to prove a point. You hate that picture of you from last night, but you post it anyway just so everyone knows you weren’t sat in waiting to find out who killed Lucy Beale (guilty).

I think my problem with it lies within the fact that I find it all fake. I find that people feel forced to post something to prove their existence, or prove their worth. ‘OMG, you don’t have Facebook? Where do you post that you went for a cheeky Nandos?’ springs to mind. It’s funny, I know. But at the same time it’s scary. I feel that we’ve lost a sense of life, whilst trying to desperately to show that we have one. We can no longer wish our Mum’s a happy Mothers Day without posting it everywhere so that the world knows that she's ‘the best mum in the world’.

Nothing feels genuine. I hate the feeling that someone is posting something for me, when it’s actually for the sake of their followers.

Kirsti x 

It's OK To Have Different Friends

It’s like we are taught from a young age that we will always be in a group of friends. I don’t remember ever being told that, but it was always portrayed as the ideal, wasn’t it?

Look at Sex And The City, four girls who are best friends. They are a solid group who always meet up and are just always friends, no matter what. And Friends, a group of six people who just fit together. They have other friends who flitter in and out but those six always stick.

The problem is that this is unrealistic. But this is also saddening. Most of us feel that if we aren’t part of some sort of friendship group that we no longer have any and nobody really cares about us. We feel like we’ve failed in society and that it must be a personal thing - we must have something wrong with us?! Surely?! No. You don’t.

As I grew older, I realised it was less important to have one best friend who fulfils every purpose. Now, I have friends for different reasons. I have friends who I trust, these are the ones I would confide in or moan about something if I’m having a really crap day. Then I have friends who I primarily see to get drunk with or just go for lunch now and again. 

Now there are plenty of other roles that friends fulfil, and some tick more than one of those boxes. But the point is, it doesn’t make them less of a ‘friend’ to you because you can’t trust them, or you can’t say something crude to them because they don’t quite have that sense of humour. This is normal. I promise.

I love my friends for all different reasons. I dislike them hugely at times too, and this is a major thing I really picked up on at university. When I moved away and started to make new friends, I realised things I found there were things I desired in friendships – then I realised that this was a really fixed way of looking at it. Why am I looking for characteristics in people that I already have in others? Don’t get me wrong, I have plenty of friends who are very similar to each other, and I get on with them for those reasons, but it’s OK that some of my friends are the complete opposites.

In fact, I love it. It gives me so much variety in what I can talk to people about, I’m not flittering between people repeating the same conversations and receiving the same answers. If I have some kind of issue I want opinions on, I can gather a complete range because my friends aren’t all clones of each other.

What I’m trying to say, is that at school it was drummed into you that your best friends were the people you got on really well with, or the ones that always invite you over to their house. This was incorrect, because when I left school I soon realised that a lot of people were in my life because of habit. This doesn’t mean I dislike them any less, it just means that when we were taken out of normal situation, it turned out we weren’t that good friends after all. It wasn’t fake, it was life.

Some people you will realise you actually have nothing in common with, and in reality they are actually a pretty shitty person. They lied to you, they were sly or they were just plain rude – either way, you’ve decided you actually don’t want them around anymore. That’s fine. Sometimes it takes a step back to realise what you were putting up with for the sake of a ‘friend’.

My advice is to evaluate what you want from your friends. If that friend makes you laugh til you’re belly hurts, but she has a tendency to gossip… then don’t tell her those really private things that you don’t want to be shared. Nobody's perfect, it's unlikely that you will find somebody with no faults or annoying habits. 

Oh, the most important thing - remember that you should be valued too, if somebody wants you in their life, they will show it and they will act on it. Don’t do all of the chasing, you’ll regret it one day.

Kirsti x

Liebster Awards & Our Nominations

We've been nominated for a Liebster award by the lovely Sherri (http://sherribee.blogspot.co.uk)! Thank you so much, the rules are below.. here goes!

1. What do you aspire to be?

Right now, we have no idea where the next few years will take us. We have so much uncertainty that for the future, we aspire to be doing something that we love, and something that we feel confident doing. 

2. What is the best advice anyone has ever given you?

"You'll end up real disappointed if you think people will do for you as you do for them. Not everyone has the same heart as you." We can't even count the amount of times we've been left disappointed and saying "we'd never do that to them", now we've learnt that being kind doesn't necessarily mean you will receive kindness back.

3. One item you cannot live without?

Our blankets... we really are old women with them. Being students the heating is rarely on so we always need them - although this isn't even a justification, we could be sweating but we would still have our blankets with us. We just love to be cosy. 

4. Favourite season?

Spring! The perfect balance of hot and cold, you can't beat a spring wardrobe.

5. Where is your safe haven?

Our go-to place has to be Bournemouth Beach. We walk for miles and just moan, nothing ever seems quite as bad when you're in the sea air.

6. Favourite restaurant?

This question seems impossible! We cannot pick one... so we will cheat and choose our favourite bits from a few restaurants to make our ideal meal. 

To start we would have the Funghi Arrosto from Bella Italia (basically baked mushrooms in a creamy mascapone, garlic and spinach sauce - amazing. 

For mains we would combine a 7Bone's burger, Chimichanga's chips and Nandos Halloumi.

Finally, we would squeeze in a peanut butter cheesecake from Vintage Inn's

7. Makeup or Fashion?

A few months ago we would have said fashion, but since coming to uni we need the make-up for our tired eyes and end to just put on the first thing that falls out of our wardrobe. Although we hate that!

8. Sunshine or Rainy days?
If we're out - sunshine! But if we're having a day in, there's nothing better than being wrapped in a blanket when it's pouring with rain outside.

9. How long have you been blogging for?

Exactly a month today!

10. Where do you hope for your blog to go?

There were so many things about university and the lifestyle that we wish we knew before we started, things would have been a lot less confusing if we had a bit of reassurance or warning. We wanted to offer these perspectives for others, and offer some comfort that these thoughts and feelings are common in a lot of people. Our intention has never really been to have a really big audience, just to get the message to the right ones.

11. Favourite things to blog about?

Everyday feelings and realisations - it's such a nice feeling to have your thoughts out in the opinion and feel comfortable with that. 

Budget buys - we constantly feel like we are missing out being on such a tight budget, so when we find goodies that are in our price range we love to share them.

Undiscovered cafe's/restaurants - we love to find new places, and again, we love to share these and encourage others. Sharing's caring!

11 Random Facts

1. We have an obsession with weird documentaries... anything to do with murderers or prison life and we are strangely intrigued

2. We're all for making meals from scratch, but we cannot resist ready-made mash potato... it's just so creamy and goooood

3. Pyjamas are an obsession. We have them spread out between our uni home and our home-home and we still do not have enough space

4. We very rarely turn up to pre-drinks without a bottle of Strawberries & Cream Sidekick (sorry, not sorry)

5. We both absolutely despise shows like The Simpsons, South Park, American Dad, Family Guy... you get the jist. Urgh. 

6. We're known from our friends for having limited geography knowledge. It took us a few months to realise what county we now live in...

7. We have an irrational fear of cats. We have been known to lock ourselves in our rooms when the local cat finds its way into our house.

8. Yes, we are students. Yes, we are obsessed with smoked salmon and no, we won't apologise for it

9. We take our tea's the complete opposite. Em does the milk first, really weak and no sugar. Kirst does the water first, and takes it strong and sugary

10. When Sean Paul comes on in a club, there are no words to describe the moves that we pull - our absolute guilty pleasure

11. Before we started Uni we spoke on a Facebook group for our course, completely unaware that on moving-in day we would discover that not only were we in the same flat, but the bedrooms next to each other.

Our Nominations:

itslittlelaurenlooks.blogspot.com

wonderlandstaves.blogspot.co.uk/
hushhush990.blogspot.co.uk/
thebeautifulbluebird.blogspot.co.uk/
uptownpeach.blogspot.co.uk/
missbeblog.blogspot.co.uk/
leahclarkie.blogspot.co.uk/
littleworldofbeka.blogspot.co.uk/
thechosenchapter.blogspot.co.uk/
suitcaseandsandals.blogspot.co.uk/
daisiesanddolls.blogspot.co.uk/

Your Questions:
1. Why did you start a blog?
2. What's your guilty pleasure?
3. What's one food you couldn't live without?
4. What's your favourite quote?
5. What's your biggest pet hate?
6. Where's your favourite clothes shop?
7. What is one thing that you want to achieve by this time next year?
8. What's one film you could never get sick of watching?
9. What's your favourite blog post of your own?
10. What type of friend are you?
11. Describe your blog in 3 words

Thanks again, Sherri! We loved doing this. Looking forward to reading everyone's posts!