It's OK To Drift Apart From Friends

Before coming to uni I was completely convinced that your best friends were the ones that you had been friends with the longest. I was under the illusion that they had known you the longest, and therefore knew you the best. 

Then I met Kirst, and within a week of knowing her I realised that she already knew me better than people I had known my whole life (probably because we are basically the same person, but still), and I started to understand that the strength of a friendship is reliant on the quality of the time you have spent together. 

When we are at school we form cliques, and from a young age get stuck with a group that we convince ourselves, are the perfect people for us. We get comfortable, and the thought of ever not being friends with these people is impossible. We just assume that the only way the friendship will end is if we have a huge fall out, otherwise we will remain friends forever. 

Unfortunately as you grow up, and your circles widen, you realise that this assumption couldn't be more wrong. You soon start to realise that when you don't have school, or living in the same area forcing you to see each other all the time, the friendships do not remain the same. 

When these friendships are tested, true colours start to show and instead of the big fall out you imagined, the friendship just simply fades, and that's ok. 

You'll find that people become less interested in your life, and that when communication is no longer easy, people put less effort into doing so. You'll realise that there were so many things that you would just put up with  (when you shouldn't have), and it will cause you to view your 'friends' in a whole new light. You'll meet people that you are far more compatible with, and come to the realisation that you and your old friends don't really have that much in common. 

The point is that when we are younger we are far more programmed than we will ever realise. We stick to what's familiar, and often find ourselves in circles that are safe, but not necessarily where we fit in best. As your life starts to change, so will your interests and expectations, and it's completely ok if your old friendships begin to drift as a result. 

Change is good, and as you grow as a person it's natural for you to grow apart from people that were very much a part of the old you. 

This doesn't mean to say that you never talk to them again, but instead you accept that your friendship is no longer the same. Spending days together turns into the odd cuppa and catch up, telling them your life story turns into 'i'm good thanks, how are you?' and thinking you will be best friends forever turns into being thankful for the friendship that you once had... and that's OK. 

Emma x

30 Things We'd Tell Our 14-Year-Old Selves

This year we both turn 21. We’ve lived together for a year and a half now and are pretty close, we share basically everything – including our mood swings. Deep conversations (or DMC’s if you’d prefer) are a common habit of ours and today we found ourselves compiling a list of things we would tell our 14-year-old selves. 

So here it is, agree or disagree? Can you think of more? Leave a comment, we’d love to know!

1. Pull your skirt down

2. Stop using dream matte mousse

3. Throw your Jane Norman bag away. Now

4. You really don't need 6 layers of mascara

5. It is not OK to have holes in your tights

6. Cross-the-body bags will give you severe back ache in a few years

7. Lunchtime is for eating not a chance to re-do your make-up

8. Go and get your eyebrows done professionally. You will suffer for the over-plucking

9. Don’t let the sole of your shoe fall off before you buy new ones

10. Your mum is right. That friend will screw you over

11. Quality over quantity. This refers to friends, layers of mascara…

12. Eat as much pizza as possible, fast metabolism is a temporary gift

13. Stop moaning. That homework is not real work, do it and then go out.

14. You do not love him

15. Friendships aren't based on time. Just because you've known them the longest, doesn't mean they are the most important.

16. Do not stop playing netball just because your friends have

17. Do not stop anything just because your friends have

18. That lip gloss does not make you look “sassy”

19. Your mum’s cooking is not crap

20. Stop holding your fringe with a clip

21. On the subject of fringes, a gap is not the end of the world

22. Stick-on fake nails do not look real. At all

23. Claire’s Accessories does not count as jewellery

24. And Charlie does not count as perfume

25. Lambrini is not wine and Vodka should be mixed

26. Only speaking over text does not count as a relationship. You will not call him an “ex” when you’re twenty.

27. Your natural hair colour is fine

28. Be prepared for your friends to really let you down. But chill, you will find friends that really do care

29. Not everyone sticks to “treat others how you like to be treated”. Remember that.

30. And lastly, relax. You’re doing better than what you think you are

From Halls To House

Thursday morning, VERY hungover, Em & I were laid on our kitchen floor, attempting to get the cap off of our washing machines filter (eh?). Yup, this week our washing machine broke. 

We tried, we really did, for a good hour in fact. We were trying to be independent and prove that we could cope without Tim, our maintenance guy from halls. But, to our dismay, we were left with a wet kitchen floor, an increasing headache and a phone call to make. Thankfully, our landlords are pretty good and came round the next day to discover it really is broken and our new washing machine is now on its way!

So, this got me thinking of the differences between first and second year of uni. You join first year convinced you're leaving home and going to be so independent, when in fact you are in the safe hands of the security guy downstairs. Your shower isn't hot enough? No problem, Tim will sort that for you!

On the plus side, when the fire alarm goes off I can now just wave a tea towel around and the piercing sound stops. Last year, we were left standing in the car park at 5am because someone decided then was a perfect time to cook. The thought of that now seems unbearable, yet last year we weren't bothered at all and in fact found it quite amusing. 

I've now come to realise that this is because of the lack of responsibility. I knew it was someone else's job and I could moan to the moon and back because it wasn't my problem to fix.

Moving In Day!

Last year, if my rent wasn't paid on time I would email reception to tell them it would be a few days late - "no problem" they'd say. Nowadays, if I told my estate agent my rent would be a few days late, I would hear the words "that'll be an extra £35 per day". Shocking. I know. 

Oh yeah, estate agents are not good to students. They aren't good to many people but they really are awful to students. Small tip, which you will hear from every student, don't take everything they say and accept it. If they want a £400 admin fee, knock them down. It's extortionate. Another thing, read your tenancy agreement before signing! They really do worm some corkers in there.

There are so many things you have to adapt to when you begin second year, but it's not all bad! I do not miss my tiny single bed along with my tiny room. But an en suite? Yeah, could do with one of those..

Happy Moaning!
Kirsti

That first week of freedom

It's getting to that time of year where many of you will be preparing to enter the next stage of your life and head off to university. Believe us, we know it's daunting.

While some feel that it is right for them to stay at home, we both wanted to move to a whole new place, and were probably tempted by halls more than university itself.

Right about now you're probably picturing yourself in each of the locations you visit, are excited about the prospect of getting away from your boring old town and equally as petrified about the strangers you will be living with.

Now it's probably worth mentioning that our story isn't quite like others. We are both studying advertising, and entered the wonderful world of Facebook to 'virtually meet' beforehand. As we nattered away about all our uni woes and worries, we were completely unaware that we would be not only in the same flat, but the rooms next door. After the initial squeals were over and done with we were just relieved that not everyone around us was a complete stranger.

While this is pretty unusual, and we were extremely lucky, it's important to note that most people you will meet when moving in are friendly, and won't be strangers for long. No seriously, wait until the next morning where you are all hungover and feel as though you've known each other forever.

In fact this whole friendly feel will stick through at least the whole of freshers, and if you're lucky even longer. But what people don't warn you about, is that what you are going through is what students refer to as the 'honeymoon period'. Like a relationship, everyone is happy to please at first. Do each others washing up here and there, have the standard 'family fajita night' and feel like you know everything there is to know about your flatmates sex life through playing 'I have never'.

This does fade. This is normal.

And while we don't want to dampen your thoughts of the 'fabulous freshers' (because if we could back, believe us we would!), I guess we just want you to enjoy it while it lasts. You're finally free from your parents, it's completely acceptable to cook a pizza at three in the morning and not get out of your pjs all day. The clubs are just at the bottom of the lift, and there will be that one night when you are so drunk that you end up back in your bed before midnight, don't worry we've all been there.

So yes you will be nervous, and probably cry when your parents leave (no? just us?) but freshers is the time of your life and every moment of it should be spent either drunk or hungover. That being said there will come a time when you realise that you didn't need to rush out of home so fast, and you will eventually appreciate it more than you ever have before.

I guess what we are trying to say is that you will absolutely love uni, and your new life, but we wouldn't be us if we didn't warn you of the moans that follow.