Don't Base Your Decisions On The Advice Of Those Who Don't Have To Live With The Results

This week I had a reality check. The kind of reality check that makes you see all the tiny things you've done over the years, in a whole new light. 

Now let me start from the top. If I could describe myself as a friend, I would say I'm the one who voices my opinion quite willingly. If my friends confide in me for advice, I'm a great listener, but I sure as hell won't keep quiet. I will give my opinion and probably suggest what I would do in their situation. 

This is the part where I now cringe. I always thought that is a really good thing that I'm so honest with my friends and to a certain degree, I still do. But now I look and think that maybe I was a little too brutal... Or a little too forceful. In all honesty, a lot of the situations I was advising my friends on, I'd never been through myself. So I'm not surprised they didn't always follow my advice.

But me being me I just gave the advice anyway "if it was me..." Well the truth is: it wasn't me. And I had no idea how they felt at that moment, the only knowledge I had was the information they were offering. I knew nothing behind closed doors and it turns out, that part is a huge influential factor.

I used to laugh at the fact I would dish out my advice to others yet never follow my own, but now I'm ashamed of that. Talk about double standards... Who was I to say the best thing to do when I wouldn't even follow it myself? Truth is. I thought I thought I knew what was right, and who knows it could have been, but how many of us make the decision that in our hearts, we know is best? 

When the tables turn and people try and advise me, I quite often reject it and follow what I think is best. Which I think is quite a good thing... And now I look at my friends and recognise the situations that they've rejected my advice and suddenly, it all becomes clear to me. I'm not bitter, I'm not confused as to why they're ignoring it, I finally get it. It's their life, and the decision made makes little difference to my life. 

I now feel a nice sense of pride. I'm so proud that I'm surrounded by people who are strong enough to make their own decisions. My friends never took my advice and followed it word-for-word and now I'm so pleased that this is the case. They're strong and independent enough to have faith in their choices, and so am I. 

"Don't base your decisions on the advice of those who don't have to live with the results" 

Kirsti x