It's OK To Drift Apart From Friends

Before coming to uni I was completely convinced that your best friends were the ones that you had been friends with the longest. I was under the illusion that they had known you the longest, and therefore knew you the best. 

Then I met Kirst, and within a week of knowing her I realised that she already knew me better than people I had known my whole life (probably because we are basically the same person, but still), and I started to understand that the strength of a friendship is reliant on the quality of the time you have spent together. 

When we are at school we form cliques, and from a young age get stuck with a group that we convince ourselves, are the perfect people for us. We get comfortable, and the thought of ever not being friends with these people is impossible. We just assume that the only way the friendship will end is if we have a huge fall out, otherwise we will remain friends forever. 

Unfortunately as you grow up, and your circles widen, you realise that this assumption couldn't be more wrong. You soon start to realise that when you don't have school, or living in the same area forcing you to see each other all the time, the friendships do not remain the same. 

When these friendships are tested, true colours start to show and instead of the big fall out you imagined, the friendship just simply fades, and that's ok. 

You'll find that people become less interested in your life, and that when communication is no longer easy, people put less effort into doing so. You'll realise that there were so many things that you would just put up with  (when you shouldn't have), and it will cause you to view your 'friends' in a whole new light. You'll meet people that you are far more compatible with, and come to the realisation that you and your old friends don't really have that much in common. 

The point is that when we are younger we are far more programmed than we will ever realise. We stick to what's familiar, and often find ourselves in circles that are safe, but not necessarily where we fit in best. As your life starts to change, so will your interests and expectations, and it's completely ok if your old friendships begin to drift as a result. 

Change is good, and as you grow as a person it's natural for you to grow apart from people that were very much a part of the old you. 

This doesn't mean to say that you never talk to them again, but instead you accept that your friendship is no longer the same. Spending days together turns into the odd cuppa and catch up, telling them your life story turns into 'i'm good thanks, how are you?' and thinking you will be best friends forever turns into being thankful for the friendship that you once had... and that's OK. 

Emma x