Moving out gives a whole new meaning to being 'home sick'.
So often you find yourself wanting to go 'home', and then you get there and it's never what you needed it to be. It's no longer a place you go and fit into straight away, instead you find yourself feeling like a guest.
Is it because you know that you being there is temporary? Or because you have your own way of doing things now, ways that you actually prefer (sorry, mum).
You get so used to doing things for yourself, that to try and fit into a different routine makes home far from the relaxing place that you desire it to be.
When you get lonely, or want to escape from the routine you are starting to dread, you think of home. But your perception of home is past tense. What you're really missing is the way home was before you left, it's not just home, it's the life you had before.
As soon as you get home, you start to miss the life that you've crafted yourself. Leaving home was scary, and to overcome the fear you put your everything into your new life, but this meant that without realising you were replacing the home you had before. A home that deep down you will never allow to feel like your own anymore.
This sounds like an unhappy post, but it's not. This is the next stage of your life, a chance for you to do things your way. Have a mum that insists on all the kitchen being matching, but you love mismatch? Now's your chance to create it.
So often we seek comfort in the way we have been brought up, but now is the time to learn from your upbringing and use what you loved about home in a life of your own.
If you're at Uni you won't feel at home just yet, as it's hard to feel at home when something is temporary, but you need to accept that you cannot go back. Your home will come, and Uni is the perfect trial for how you will create it.
It's ok that you don't feel at home anywhere just yet, having somewhere to live doesn't mean that you will feel at home.
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